Chapter One: Success

As I searched for a motivational quote to add on Twitter (you can follow me at cgallagher08), I found that some of the quotes brought a sense of enlightenment with awareness. A few of my favorites were:

"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." -Thomas Jefferson (This one became my Tweet)

"Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself." -Theodore T. Hunger

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." -Robert Collier

Still, the one I live by right now is another one of my father's: "There are 3 types of people in this world: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened."

I don't know why I worry about the future so much. I guess I'm afraid of failing, or disappointing myself and those that care about me. And I mean, who wouldn't be? It's normal for someone my age to worry about these things. I think, in part, worrying actually determines how successful a person becomes. (Among other things, such as never settling....but that is a whole other issue. I'll come back to that.)

It seems (and probably is true) that at this point in my life (being a college student) every little move I make will have a large impact on the rest of my life. The decisions I make now are the ones whose consequences, whether good or bad, I will face forever. Unfortunately, also at this point in my life, I am completely noncommittal. I am afraid to commit to anything that I cannot later back out of if I need or want to. I am not entirely sure where that fear comes from, nor my fear of being unsuccessful.

(Skip this paragraph if you're not interested in reading about my past successes) Growing up and throughout the school years, I proved to be very successful. At almost everything. I always made good grades with ease and was good at following rules; I was always the teacher's pet and the child my parents boasted about. In high school, I had many successes I am still kind of proud of. I was a cheerleader as a Freshman, and made the Varsity team my junior year (I ended up quitting for chorus and theatre, which are my favorite success stories). Freshman year, I took Concert Choir and hated it for the lack of motivation in my peers. I only dreamed of being in one of the competitive upper ensembles (you had to be hand-picked by the director). There was an all-women's ensemble, called Sotto Voce, which I hoped for a chance in...and then there was Chamber Ensemble, which I knew I would never be good enough for. Not only was I in Sotto Voce my sophomore year, and not only was I in Sotto Voce AND Chamber Ensemble my junior year, but I was in Sotto Voce, Chamber Ensemble AND Concert Choir (again) my senior year. (I'm pretty sure I was one of the first to be in all three). And not only that, but Chamber and Sotto Voce placed first in their divisions and first and second place overall (respectively) my senior year at Heritage's National Festival of Gold in Chicago. Howard Coble even mentioned us in the Congressional Records. I was on top of the world. As for my theatre successes, I don't really know where they came from, but they were the most fun. My freshman year: I had never considered doing theatre before, but a friend convinced me to go to a meeting for people interested in working backstage. I went, and ended up having the time of my life as a techie for the spring musical that year (Damn Yankees). Sophomore year: I was in the chorus of Les Miserables (with our local theatre company, which no longer exists), and I was a Protean in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (my school's spring musical that year). Junior Year: the theatre director let slip early that we were doing West Side Story that Spring. I had never seen the show, knew nothing about it, and was content to have been in the chorus again. My mom actually convinced me that I could play the lead, and encouraged me to work on it. So I did, and was cast as Maria. Senior year held a quite dramatic audition (which involved pre-casting, casting by the choreographer, and little input taken from the musical director, who I had worked with the most). With one female lead left and me yet to be cast, a dispute between the Director (who didn't think I could pull off the part) and the Musical Director (who argued it would be a slap in my face to put me back in the chorus after my performance in West Side Story), I was cast as Mrs. Potts in the school's production of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. In the end, I blew away the Director with my diversity. (And I still have people tell me that, although no one could have played Mrs. Potts the way I did, that I would have made a better Belle....I thought Braylin played a stunning Belle though.)

Reflecting on those memories makes me feel somewhat foolish...the past is the past, and hardly projects what will happen in the future. Still, I know that if I take things one step at a time, but don't pace myself (as in, always work my hardest and give my best), then the future will be just fine.